Co-yolembedwa ndi Marcia Gralha
Ili ndi lachisanu ndi chimodzi pamndandanda wamabulogu omwe amaperekedwa kuti afotokoze momwe njira ya CALM-MO yokhudzana ndi chisamaliro chamisala imasinthira malupu a neurotic. Monga dissertation yaposachedwa idafotokozeredwa mwatsatanetsatane (Miller, 2022; onani apa), CALM-MO ndi chida chomwe chimalumikiza nzeru zenizeni za psychotherapy zomwe zimatengedwa kuchokera kunjira zotsogola.
Ganizilani za nthawi imene munacita cinthu cina cimene munamva naco, ndipo munacita manyazi kapena kudziimba mlandu. Kodi munayamba kudzikonda nokha ndipo munavutika kuti mupite patsogolo? Tsopano ganizirani nthawi imene anthu ena ankakuchitirani nkhanza kapena mopanda chilungamo. Kapena nthawi yomwe dziko lidakhala ngati malo opanda chilungamo omwe amakupwetekani mobwerezabwereza. Kodi munadzipeza kuti mwakodwa mumkhalidwe wa liwongo ndi mkwiyo umene unawoneka kukhala wosatheka kuugonjetsa?
Chifundo chachikondi ndi "L" mu njira ya CALM-MO, ndipo positiyi ikuyang'ana momwe mungakulitsire nokha, kwa ena, komanso dziko lapansi.
Kodi chifundo chachikondi n’chiyani ndipo n’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zina chimakhala chovuta?
Kuti timvetse zimene tikunena, tingayambe ndi kulingalira za chifundo chachikondi monga njira yaikulu yochitira zinthu ndi dziko m’malo mochitapo kanthu pazochitika zinazake. M’buku lake lakuti Humankind, Bregman (2019) analemba umboni wochuluka wosonyeza kuti anthu akhoza kukhala okoma mtima, ogwirizana, okondana, ndiponso achikondi. N’zoona kuti anthu angathenso kukhala ndi chidani, kudzikonda, ndiponso kupsa mtima. Koma mkangano wamphamvu ukhoza kupangidwa kuti choyambiriracho ndi chosasinthika, pamene chotsatiracho ndikuchitapo kanthu pa kuvulala. Izi zikutanthauza kuti pafupifupi tonsefe timatha kugwirizana ndi dziko mwachifundo.
Tengani miniti ndikulingalira zochitika zotsatirazi. Choyamba, mwakhala mu lesitilanti ndipo patebulo pafupi ndi inu muli mwana akulira ndi bambo ake.
Bambo wokwiyayo akuuza mwana wamng’ono, womvera kuti, “Chavuta n’chiyani? Simuchita chilichonse molondola! "Lekani kulira, mukuwonjezera chilichonse!"
Tsopano yerekezerani kuti mukuyenda m’paki ndipo mukuona gulu la achinyamata likuvutitsa mnzawo wa m’kalasi wokhumudwa komanso wooneka wamanyazi.
Pomaliza, yerekezerani kuti mnzanu wapamtima akulira paphewa atazindikira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakhala akukunyengani kwa zaka zambiri.
Zindikirani momwe mukumvera mu chimango chilichonse; n’kutheka kuti ankaona kuti wasamalidwa. Ndiko kuti, iye ankaona kuti mwana wovulazidwayo ndi wofunika kwambiri, wachinyamata wovutitsidwayo, kapena mnzake woperekedwayo. Ndipo ankaona kuti kuvulala kwake sikunali koyenera kapena koyenera. Chotero, chifukwa cha chisamaliro ndi lingaliro la ulemu wawo wofunikira ndi wofunikira, munakhumba kuti dziko likadawachitira zabwinoko ndi kuti kuvutika kwawo kuchepetsedwa. Ichi ndi chiyambi cha zomwe tikutanthauza ndi chifundo chachikondi.
N’zoona kuti pali nthawi zambiri pamene anthu amavutika kuchitira chifundo chifukwa amakhulupirira kuti n’zosayenera. Izi zimakhala choncho makamaka ndi kudzimvera chisoni. Anthu ambiri amadzivutitsa kwambiri kuposa momwe angakhalire kwa wokondedwa kapena ngakhale mlendo mumkhalidwe womwewo. Komanso, tikazindikira kuti anthu ena kapena dzikoli ndi amene amachititsa kuti tizivutika, n’kwachibadwa kuchita zinthu mwaudani n’cholinga chodziteteza. M’mikhalidwe imeneyi ya maganizo, iye mwini kapena ena samaoneka kukhala oyenerera chifundo chachikondi.
Komabe, m’malo mokhala mkhalidwe wofuna kukwaniritsa, chifundo chachikondi ndicho kubwerera ku mkhalidwe wofunikira wa utumiki wa ulemu, ulemu ndi kulimba mtima. Zopangidwa motere, chifundo chachikondi sichidalira pa zomwe tapambana komanso zomwe takwanitsa, koma ndi malingaliro oyambira ndi momwe timakhalira mdziko lapansi. Mfundo zisanu zotsatirazi zikuthandizira mtima wachifundo wachikondi mu CALM-MO.
1. Kukhulupirira kuti anthu ali ndi ulemu waukulu komanso kuulekanitsa ndi kuwonjezereka kwa ulemu.
Ulemu wofunikira umanena za mfundo yakuti anthu onse ndi oyenera kulemekezedwa ndi kulemekezedwa. Ndi lingaliro lomwe limathandizira United Declaration of Human Rights ndipo likhoza kukhazikitsidwa ngati maziko a umunthu wathu. Ndithudi, monga momwe tonse tikudziŵira, anthu ambiri amachita zinthu zosayenera ndi kuwononga ulemu wa ena. Tikhoza kuziika ngati zochita za “ulemu wowonjezereka,” ndipo ziyenera kuunika moyenerera. Komabe, pali maziko ofunikira a ulemu, ndipo ichi ndi phindu lomwe limatsogolera chifundo chachikondi mu CALM-MO.
2. Kuzunzika ndikosapeweka ndipo chifundo ndi kuyankha mwachikondi
Monga taonera m’bulogu yapitayi, chowonadi chosapeŵeka cha kuvutika ndi chimodzi mwa zowonadi zazikulu za Chibuda. Izi zimavomerezedwa ndi CALM-MO, ndipo kukulitsa kuvomereza kwake ndi gawo lofunikira panjirayo. Komabe, kuwonjezera pa kuvomereza, tingasungenso malingaliro athu pa zimene tikuyembekezera kuti dziko lidzakhala lotani. Ndipo apa tikuona kuti chifundo ndicho kuyankha mwachikondi ku masautso amtundu uliwonse. Monga momwe zafotokozedwera m’zitsanzo za pamwambazi, zikuimira chisoni chimene timamva nacho chifukwa cha zowawa za dziko lapansi ndi chikhumbo chathu chakuti chitonthozedwe.
Kuwerenga kofunikira pa neuroticism
3. Chidani ndi kudziimba mlandu n'zomveka, koma si makhalidwe abwino
Timakhala okonzeka ndi kutha kuweruza, kudana ndi kudzudzula. Ndipo mofananamo, ife mwachibadwa timakhazikika kukhala prosocial, chidani, kulakwa ndi manyazi ndi mayankho achilengedwe ku kuvulaza kosalungama, kupweteka, kulephera ndi kutayika. Zoyikidwa munkhani ya CALM-MO, awa ndi mayankho achilengedwe azinthu zoyipa. Komabe, mayankho otere ayenera kuvomerezedwa ndi kusungidwa momwemo, chifukwa si zabwino zomwe pakapita nthawi zimatsogolera kumayiko ofunikira. M’mawu ena, tingawamve, kuwavomereza, ndi kutsogolera zochita zathu kuti tidutse.
4. Kuphatikiza chifundo chachikondi ndi chilimbikitso ku zinthu zofunika kukhala
Kudzimvera chifundo kwa iwe mwini ndi ena sikutanthauza kungopeza zowawa ndi kuvutika. M’malo mwake, chifundo chachikondi chingakhale mkhalidwe wosonkhezera kusintha. Tikamaona kufunika kwa ife eni ndi ena, timaika maganizo athu pa kuzindikira zimene tingakwanitse ndiponso kukulitsa moyo wanzeru.
5. Tikhoza kukhala ndi chifundo pamene tilibe
Pomaliza, mofanana ndi masinthidwe onse aakulu ndi okhalitsa m’moyo wathu, kukulitsa chifundo chachikondi ndi ntchito yovuta. Ndi chikhalidwe cha zotengera zoyambirira kulimbitsa matupi athu ndi zikhumbo zamphamvu kuti tichite. Pamene tikukulitsa luso loyang'ana mosamalitsa momwe timayankhira pazochitika za m'miyoyo yathu, timaphunzira kuyima ndikuwongolera malingaliro athu ndi chidwi, kuvomereza, chifundo chachikondi, ndi chilimbikitso.
Zimayembekezeredwa kuti pamene tikupita patsogolo pa njira yodziwonetsera tokha ndi kukula, padzakhala kulephera kwathu kuyimira njira yathu yabwino yoyankhira. Ndiko makamaka m'zochitika zomwe chifundo chachikondi chili chofunika kwambiri.
Kuthetsa mikangano yosokonekera kumaphatikizapo kudzimvera chifundo pamene takokedwa ndi mafunde a zinthu zopanda nzeru. Chifukwa chake, mukazitsitsa, yimitsani, yambitsani njira yanu yanzeru ya CALM-MO, ndikulumikizana ndi kufunikira kwanu monga munthu woyenera kuchitiridwa chifundo.
Ndemanga zaposachedwa