Yini engenziwa i-porn ngemfihlo?

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Ukusabalala okusheshayo kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kungenye yamafa enkathi yedijithali; Cishe abantu abayizigidi ezingu-40 e-United States bavakashela njalo amawebhusayithi ezithombe zobulili ezingcolile, iningi labo okungabantu abadala noma abantu abasha. Imithombo yezindaba edumile ibambe izexwayiso zokuluthwa kocansi nezindaba zamasoka aphikisa izintombi zawo futhi efuna ziziphathe njengezinkanyezi ze-porn. Kodwa ucwaningo luqinisekisa ukuthi ukugcwala kwezinsizwa, futhi ngaphansi nje kwengxenye yabesifazane, bakholelwa ukuthi ukubuka izinto ezibekela ingcaca ucansi kulungile.

Nakhu okwatholwa uSpencer B. Olmstead nozakwabo lapho bebuza abafundi basekolishi mayelana nokusebenzisa izithombe zobulili ezingcolile ebudlelwaneni babo bothando besikhathi esizayo: 70,8% yamadoda kanye no-45,5% wabesifazane babecabanga ukuthi bazoyibuka . Ngokuphambene, kuphela i-22,3% yamadoda kanye ne-26,3% yabesifazane abakholelwa ukuthi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile azidlali indima ebuhlotsheni bothando.

Kunezinto ezimbili amadoda nabesifazane abavame ukungavumelani ngazo: ukuthi izithombe zobulili ezingcolile zibukeka kanjani (zodwa, eqenjini, nomlingani wocansi); nokuthi kubonakala kangaki. Njengoba uMichael Kimmel ephawula encwadini yakhe ka-2008 ethi Guyland , izinsizwa zivame ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile nontanga yazo nangezizathu ezihlukene kunamadoda amadala.

UKimmel ubhala ukuthi “Abafana bavame ukuthanda izinto ezeqisayo, ukungena okuphindwe kabili kanye nezigcawu ezilulazayo. Bambona ehamba nabafana bahlekise abantu besifazane esiteji. Esikhundleni salokho, amadoda amadala anolwazi oluthe xaxa abuka eyedwa noma enomlingani, futhi ngalokho uKimmel akubiza ngokuthi "i-nostalgia" kubantu babo abasha; Bavame ukukhetha izinto zokwakha "lapho abesifazane bebonakala begcwele isifiso futhi bejabulela injabulo."

Ucwaningo luka-Olmstead lwathola ukuthi ukukhathazeka kwabesifazane kwakuhlobene kakhulu nokuthi ukusetshenziswa kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kunomkhawulo yini kunalokho obukwa nobani. Amadoda athambekele ekucabangeni ukuthi ukubukela i-porn kunemiphumela emihle kuphela.

Njengoba uNathaniel Lambert nabanye babika ekubuyekezweni kwezifundo, abesifazane abalingani babo abavame ukubukela izithombe zobulili ezingcolile bacabanga kancane kulaba balingani futhi babheka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile njengosongo ekuzinzeni kobudlelwane babo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, olunye ucwaningo luye lwabonisa ukuthi izinsizwa nezintombi zikholelwa ukuthi izinto ezibeka ingcaca ubulili zingazisiza zihlole ubulili bazo futhi zengeze "izinongo" kulokho ezikwenzayo embhedeni.

Ingabe ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuyingozi njengoba abantu becabanga? Ucwaningo oluthathu olulandelayo lubonisa ukuthi lungaba nomthelela omkhulu ebudlelwaneni kunalokho abantu abakuqaphelayo.

1. Ubudlelwano obungenayo i-porn bunamandla, nenani eliphansi lokungathembeki.

Lokhu kutholwe u-Amanda Maddox nozakwabo ocwaningweni lwabesilisa nabesifazane abaneminyaka ephakathi kuka-18 no-34 ababethandana, nakuba kungacaci ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kuyimbangela yalo mehluko. Abacwaningi balinganise amazinga okuxhumana okungekuhle, ukulungisa ubudlelwano, ukuzinikela phakathi kwabantu noma ukuzibophezela, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi, nokungathembeki. Ekuhloleni kwabo, amaphesenti angu-76,8 amadoda namaphesenti angu-34,6 abesifazane abheka izinto ezibonisa ubulili ingcaca kuphela; U-44,8% uthe uyibuke nophathina babo. Bathole ukuthi abantu ababengazibukeli izithombe zobulili ezingcolile babe namazinga aphansi okuxhumana okungalungile, babehileleke kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, futhi babe nokwaneliseka okukhulu ngokobulili kanye nokulungiswa kobudlelwane. Izinga lokungathembeki kwabo okungenani laliyingxenye yalabo ababebuke izinto zocansi bebodwa kanye nabalingani babo. Kodwa abantu ababuka izithombe ezingcolile kuphela nabalingani babo babezibophezele kakhulu ebudlelwaneni futhi baneliseke kakhulu ngokocansi kunalabo ababukele bodwa.

2. Ukubuka izithombe zocansi kunganciphisa ukuzibophezela ebudlelwaneni.

Lokho abacwaningi abakutholayo ukuthi ukubukela izithombe zobulili ezingcolile kungakukhumbuza bonke abangaba abalingani bobulili obungase bunciphise ukuzinikela kwakho kumuntu ohileleke naye ngempela. Kungase futhi kubangele ukuthi ushintshe umuntu osembhedeni nawe ukuze uthole umuntu omnandi ongakaze uhlangane naye (futhi mhlawumbe ngeke uhlangane).

Ingabe lokhu kuzwakala kunempilo?

U-Nathaniel Lambert, u-Sesen Negash kanye nabanye benze izivivinyo ezinhlanu ezihlukene ukuze bathole. Kowokuqala, baxoxisana nabahlanganyeli, abaneminyaka engu-17 kuya ku-26, ababesebudlelwaneni (kuze kube yiminyaka emithathu kanye nezinyanga ezimbili nje) mayelana nokusetshenziswa kwabo kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kanye namazinga alinganiselwe wokuzibophezela. Bathole ukuthi ukusetshenziswa kwezithombe zobulili ezingcolile kwakuhlotshaniswa nokuzibophezela okuphansi kokubili amadoda nabesifazane, kodwa kunomphumela omkhulu emadodeni.

Ocwaningweni lwabo lwesibili, bacele izibukeli ezizimele ukuthi zibuke amavidiyo ngababili benza umsebenzi wokuxoxisana: Uzakwethu oyedwa wavalwa amehlo futhi kwadingeka adwebe okuthile kuyilapho omunye enikeza imiyalelo. Phakathi kwababukeli, ukuzibandakanya okuphansi kwabonwa phakathi kwabasebenzisi bezithombe zobulili ezingcolile.

Ucwaningo lwesithathu luhlole kuphela ababambiqhaza abadle izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Ingxenye yeqembu iyeka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile amasonto amathathu. Enye ingxenye yatshelwa ukuba ilahle ukudla okuthandayo, kodwa yavunyelwa ukubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Umphumela? Labo ababekade bezigodlile ezintweni ezibeka ingcaca ucansi babonise ukwehla okuncane ekuzibandakanyeni kwabo nobudlelwano ekupheleni kwamasonto amathathu.

Izifundo ezimbili zokugcina zigxile emphumeleni wokunaka kakhulu kwezinye izindlela zokungathembeki okungenzeka kanye nokungathembeki ngokwakho. Futhi yebo, abantu ababukele izithombe zobulili ezingcolile babevame ukudlala ngothando (nokuningi) ngaphandle kobudlelwane babo ekuhlangenwe nakho okukodwa; futhi maningi amathuba okuthi bakhohlise futhi baxhumane.

Ubudlelwano Ukufunda okubalulekile

3. Okunye okumangalisayo kuholela ekukhohliseni emhlabeni wangempela.

Kolunye ucwaningo, u-Andrea Mariea Gwinn, uNathaniel Lambert nabanye baphinde bahlola uhlobo lwezinye izindlela ezinikezwa ngezithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Baphakamise izinto ezimbili ezingenzeka: Okokuqala, ukubona ozakwethu abakhangayo nabatholakalayo ngokocansi esikrinini kungase kukhulise umbono womuntu ngabalingani bakhe abangase babe nabo. Okwesibili, lezi zithombe zobulili ezingcolile zingenza umqondo wokuba nabalingani bocansi abaningi uthandeke kakhudlwana, obunye ubuhlungu bobudlelwane obuzibophezele.

Futhi yilokho kanye abakuthola.

Kolunye ucwaningo, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi abantu ababecabanga nge-porn abayibukayo balinganisele ezinye izindlela zobudlelwane eziphakeme kunalabo abangazange, nakuba kwakukhona umehluko ekwanelisekeni ngobuhlobo bamanje. Ucwaningo lwesibili lwabonisa ukuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuchayeka ezithombeni ezingcolile kungase kube imbangela yokungathembeki.

Okumangalisa nakakhulu, ithimba lithole ukuthi ukucabanga mayelana nozakwethu okungenzeka kanye nokwenza umfutho wokuthola lezo zindlela ezihlukile kusebenza ngokuhlukile kunokunganeliseki ngobudlelwano bakho kanye nozakwenu. Ngamanye amazwi, kuyilapho utshani bakho bungase bube luhlaza ngokwanele, umcabango nje wokuthi obuluhlaza ungase wanele ukuqhumisa ibhumu.

Ungase uthande ukukugcina lokhu engqondweni uma ububona izinto kanzima noma ujwayele ukubona umlingani wakho evula ikhompuyutha ephathekayo yakhe "ukuzijabulisa nje."

I-Porn ayilungile njengoba ungase ucabange, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa ebudlelwaneni bothando.

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