Indlela abantu abazenza ngayo izifiso zabo

Omunye wamaqhawe aqanjiwe kaChekhov, uprofesa wezokwelapha ohlonishwayo, wayenendlela engavamile yokuqonda abantu kangcono. Wazicabangela izifiso zakhe. “Ngitshele ukuthi yini oyifunayo,” wayesho, “futhi ngizokutshela ukuthi ungubani. »

Njengongcweti kwezobuciko nezincwadi, izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo sekuyisikhathi eside zijatshuliswa ukuthi kungani futhi kanjani amaphupho ethu. Iminyaka engaphezu kwamashumi amabili, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo seNyuvesi yaseNew York uGabriele Oettingen sifunde izindlela ezinelukuluku lokugcwaliseka kwezifiso, kusukela ekudalweni kuye ekufezekeni. Indaba yesifiso ngasinye, kubonakala sengathi, ijikeleza ohambweni lwabalingiswa abakhulu abane: umphuphi, iphupho, inganekwane, kanye nesithiyo. Ingemuva lapho laba balingiswa abavelele bahamba khona iwuchungechunge lwamaqoqo ezinkanyezi ezingenakubalwa ezimo zangaphandle nezangaphakathi.

Umthombo: Izihlahla Ezixubile CDD20 / Pixabay / Marianna Pogosyan

Ngemva kokutadisha izinkulungwane zabahlanganyeli, u-Oettingen nozakwabo bathola ukuthi lapho benza isifiso, abantu ngokuvamile balandela enye yalawa maphethini okuzilawula kwengqondo:

Uchitha amahora amaningi ajabulisayo ngemicabango eyakhayo ezicabangela wena wenza amaphupho akhe afezeke (uzitike ngokwakho).

Cabanga ngazo zonke izithiyo ezingaba khona phakathi kwabo namaphupho abo (ikhaya).

Qala ucabange ngekusasa olifisayo, bese uhlola izithiyo (ukugqama kwengqondo).

Hlola izithiyo kuqala, bese uphupha ngekusasa olifisayo (hlehlisa ukugqama).

Amaphupho amahle njengenkemba esika nhlangothi zombili

Bonke abaphuphi babona amaphupho ethu efezeka. Mhlawumbe yingakho okunye okumangalise kakhulu kuka-Oettingen kwaba ukuthola ukuthi lawa maphupho amahle enzeni kubantu abazitike ngawo. Imininingwane yayicacile: zona kanye izithombe ezazisivumela ukuthi siphile izifiso zenhliziyo yethu zibe nemiphumela ekhubazayo ekugcwalisekeni kwazo.

“Ekuqaleni kwasimangaza kakhulu ukubona lo mkhuba kangangokuthi ngacabanga ukuthi kumelwe ukuba ngenze iphutha,” kuchaza u-Oettingen. Kwaba ngemva kokuphindaphindwa okuqhubekayo kwezifundo ezinemiphumela efanayo lapho u-Oettingen nozakwabo babona khona ukuthi babehlangabezane nesenzakalo sangempela.

Kungani ukucabanga ngokufezekiswa kwezifiso kungase kuphazamise ukuphishekela isifiso?

Ake sithi isifiso sakho sesikhathi eside ukushicilela incwadi. Uma uzicabangela unomthengisi wakho ongcono kunabo bonke osuvele usezandleni zakho, umi phambi kwezithameli ezishaya ihlombe njengoba wamukela umklomelo wokuphumelela kwakho ekufundeni kuyilapho izintatheli ziklelisa ukukubuza imibuzo, uthola "ukugcwaliseka kwengqondo" kwesifiso sakho. Emqondweni wakho usuyibonile imivuzo yokwenza iphupho lakho lifezeke. Lokhu kulingiswa kwezimbali okubonakalayo kungaba nomthelela ophumuzayo, kubangele abantu ukuthi bafake amandla amancane nomzamo kunalokho okudingeka ngempela ukwenza izifiso zabo zifezeke.

U-Oettingen nozakwabo bawuvivinya lo mbono. Eqinisweni, abahlanganyeli abazitike ngamaphupho amahle okwenza imali eningi baziphathe sengathi baphelele ngokwezimali futhi bakhetha ukushiya umvuzo wemali osheshayo womvuzo omkhulu esikhathini esizayo (Sciappo, Norton, Oettingen, & Gollwitzer, 2015). Ngokusobala, ngemva kokuzama indlela yokuwina umklomelo wemali emaphusheni abo kanye nokuzuza ngokwengqondo ikusasa ababelifuna, babengenasithakazelo kangako ekutholeni imali kubahloli ngaso leso sikhathi.

Kungani Ukuqhathanisa Ngengqondo Kungakusiza Ukwenza Amaphupho Akho Afezeke

Singayinxephezela kanjani "inkinga" ephikisayo ngemicabango eyakhayo kanye nokuthambekela kwabo kokudambisa isifiso sethu sokulandela amaphupho ethu?

Yilapho kuqhathaniseka khona ngokwengqondo.

“Ukuze sikhiphe abantu emaphusheni abo futhi sibanikeze amandla okufeza amaphupho abo, sabona ukuthi kufanele sibanikeze isilinganiso esinempilo samaqiniso,” kusho u-Oettingen.

Kwafika ngendlela yesithiyo abantu ababekwazi ukuzibona ngaphakathi kwabo ukuthi simi endleleni yezifiso zabo. Uma iphupho elihle liqhathaniswa nezithiyo zangaphakathi ezifanele, kwenziwa ukuxhumana, okuhlobanisa ikusasa elifiswayo neqiniso kanye neqiniso (isithiyo) nokuziphatha okufanele ukusinqoba. Le nqubo enganakile, ngokusho kuka-Oettingen, ingasiza ekwakheni amandla ngokugqugquzela abantu ukuthi baklame imigomo efanele, izinhloso, nezinhlelo zokunqoba izithiyo futhi baphishekele izifiso zabo. Uma okulindelwe empumelelweni kuphezulu, abantu bathatha indlela yokwenza izifiso zabo zifezeke; uma bebuthaka, amavoti azoyekwa noma ahlehliswe.

Wish Result Isithiyo Plan

Elinye lamasu okufeza izifiso acwaningwe kakhulu, azalwa ocwaningweni luka-Oettingen, iWOOP (Uhlelo Lwesithiyo Lokufisa Umphumela). I-WOOP iwukuqhathanisa kwengqondo esenzweni. Yindawo lapho abalingiswa abane behlangana khona ukuze bazane ngaphambi kokuba baqale uhambo lwabo.

Umthombo: UGabriele Oettingen / Marianna Pogosyan

U-Oettingen ubiza i-WOOP "njenge-ejenti yokushintsha."

"Uma ubona okuthile emhlabeni okufunayo, into enzima kodwa efinyelelekayo ngenxa yokuthi unegunya elithile phezu kwayo, i-WOOP ikunikeza uhlaka lokuguqula imicabango yakho emihle ibe ngokoqobo," kusho u-Oettingen, osebenzisa i-WOOP. Ukufeza izifiso zabo eziningi.

Yazi izifiso zakho nezithiyo.

Ukuhlola okujulile kohlu lwethu lwezifiso ngamathuluzi afana ne-WOOP kunganikeza ukuqonda okumangalisayo ngathi.

Isibonelo, uma ubheka ngemuva kwamaphupho akho, ungase uzithole unesidingo esingokwengqondo.

U-Oettingen nozakwabo babona lesi simo ochungechungeni lwezifundo. Kokunye ukuhlola, bacele ababambiqhaza ukuthi bangaphuzi noma yiluphi uketshezi amahora amane ngaphambi kokuya elebhu yabo, lapho banikezwa khona ama-pretzels anosawoti. Ingxenye yababambe iqhaza ithole amanzi kanti enye yomile. Imiphumela yabonisa ukuthi imibono emihle yalabo abomile yayigxile ekucimeni ukoma kwabo. Ababevunyelwe ukuphuza bona babeziphuphela imicimbi engahlangene namanzi.

Imiphumela efanayo yatholwa ngokuhlolwa okwenziwe ngezidingo ezingokwengqondo.

“Lapho sigxilisa isidingo sencazelo, abantu baqala ukuphupha ngokuthola umsebenzi onenjongo kakhudlwana. Lapho sifaka isidingo sokuhlobana, abantu babephupha ngokuhlangana nabangane nomndeni,” kusho u-Oettingen. Ngakho-ke amaphupho ngokuvamile ayizinkulumo zalokho esingenakho.

Ngaphezu kokuqonda izidingo zethu ezijulile, ukuhlola izifiso zethu kungaphinde kubhekane nathi nokuphikiswa kwangaphakathi okusivimbela ukuba sizifeze.

Ukubheka ngemuva kwalokhu kungase futhi kube umzamo ovula amehlo.

“Ngemva kwezithiyo ngokuvamile kuba nemizwelo, izinkolelo ezingenangqondo, imikhuba emibi noma izithiyo ezindala esihlala sihamba nazo iminyaka,” kuchaza u-Oettingen.

Ngakho iseluleko sika-Oettingen: Chitha isikhathi ukanye nezifiso zakho. Banike ukunaka kwakho okuphelele futhi ulalele ngokucophelela, ngenhliziyo evulekile.

Thatha imizuzu engu-5-10 yokuthula ukuze uzibuze umbuzo: yini engiyifunayo ngempela? Thola isifiso esiseduze nenhliziyo yakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyiphi ingxenye yempilo. Okubalulekile wukubuza lo mbuzo futhi ngesineke ufune impendulo. Ngokuvamile abantu abazi ukuthi bafunani noma batshelwe abakufunayo. Khumbula, unguchwepheshe empilweni yakho. Unezidingo nezifiso zakho. Naka ukucabanga kwakho okuhle. Zibaluleke kakhulu ngoba zinikeza incazelo esenzweni. Bamele ikusasa olifisayo, lapho ofuna ukuya khona nalapho ofuna ukuba khona.

“Uma usunesifiso, hlola ukuthi ungazizwa unjani ukuba lapho. Ngiyajabula ? Ukhululekile? Thola umphumela omuhle kakhulu futhi ucabange ngokucacile ngokuwubona engqondweni yakho. mayelana nendlela yokwenza isifiso sakho sifezeke? Zama ukunwaya indawo bese ujula ukuze uthole ukuthi yini engemuva kwesithiyo sakho. Ungase uthole ukuthi obucabanga ukuthi kukubambezele ekufezeni isifiso sakho bekungekona okwangaphandle njengoba ubuhlale ucabanga, kodwa ukumelana kwangaphakathi. Ukucacisa ukuthi yini ngawe ngempela emi phakathi kwakho namaphupho akho kuyasiza kakhulu, njengoba kuzokusiza ukuthi uhlole izindlela zokunqoba isithiyo sakho. Kungase futhi kukusize ukwazi ukuthi ukunqoba isithiyo kubiza kakhulu njengamanje, noma akunakwenzeka. Kodwa uma unomuzwa wokuthi isithiyo singanqotshwa, khona-ke kuzokunikeza ugqozi lokubeka eceleni izaba, phuma emaphusheni futhi uphishekele amaphupho akho.

Umthombo: Michaelpuche / Shutterstock

Ngenjabulo engaka nokufeza esikulindele ekupheleni kohambo lwethu lokugcwalisa izifiso, siyobe singanaki amagugu esiwathole endleleni: isibindi nokubekezela, ukusungula izinto nokungabi namanzi, izinhloso ezinhle nokuzihawukela. Mhlawumbe-ke umvuzo omkhulu wokuphishekela amaphupho ethu usethubeni lokukhulisa ubuhlobo bethu nathi.

Sibonga kakhulu kuDkt. Gabriele Oettingen ngesikhathi sakhe nemininingwane. UDkt. Oettingen unguprofesa wezengqondo eNyuvesi yaseNew York. Ungumbhali wencwadi ethi Rethinking Positive Thinking: Ngaphakathi kweNew Science of Motivation (2014).

Isithombe se-LinkedIn: Michaelpuche / Shutterstock