Posachedwapa, ndinali ndi chokumana nacho chosangalatsa chowonera mnzanga wapamtima akugwa m’chikondi. Iye amamwetulira akamalankhula za mnzawoyo, kapena akamalankhula za iye nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi, umboni wakuti amamuganizira kwambiri. Sindinathe kukhala wosangalala kuposa iye. Patapita masiku angapo, zinayambanso kuchitika kwa mnzanga wina, yemwenso anali ndi maganizo ofanana, ngakhale kuti iye anali ndi chilakolako chofuna kudya. Kenako anthu ena adanenanso kudzera pa Facebook kuti adakondana ndi winawake.
Poyamba ndinachita chidwi ndi mfundo yakuti anthu ambiri anayamba kukondana ndi ine, ngakhale kuti kunali nyengo yozizira. Ofufuza ena amanena kuti nthawi yabwino kwambiri yopezera chikondi chosatha ndi kugwa, ndipo chirimwe chimakhala nthawi yabwino kwambiri yopezera mabwenzi akanthawi kochepa. Iwo amati nyengo ya dzinja ndi yovuta kupeza munthu chifukwa ambirife timachepetsa nthawi imene timachita komanso kuvala zovala zosaoneka bwino. Anthu ambiri alinso ndi vuto chifukwa kuwala kwadzuwa kumachepa (komanso kuchepera). (Ndiyenera kutchula kuti kwa anzanga okondedwa, onse amakhala kumalo kumene kuli kozizira kwambiri.)
Kukhala ndi anthu okondana n’kosangalatsa (mwa zina chifukwa chakuti m’mikhalidwe yabwinobwino anthuwa sangachite zinthu zopusa kwambiri), koma kungakhalenso kokhumudwitsa, makamaka ngati muli paubwenzi wosakhutiritsa. Kufananiza anthu kungakhale gawo losasangalatsa la umunthu. (Ndiyankha zambiri pa izi mu positi yamtsogolo.)
Ngakhale kuti anthu amakumana ndi chikondi mosiyana, chemistry yomwe imayambitsa kukopa koyambirira imatiwonetsa kuti pali zofotokozera zamoyo zomwe zimachititsa kuti munthu azimva chizungulire, mwachitsanzo, m'masabata oyambirira osangalatsa.
Poyambira, dopamine, yomwe imapangidwa muubongo ndi adrenal glands, imathandizira kutulutsidwa kwa testosterone. Dopamine imakhudza ziwalo zosiyanasiyana, kuphatikizapo maliseche ndi thukuta, komanso mphamvu. Kodi munayamba mwawonapo kuti mukakhala mu magawo oyambirira a chilakolako kapena chikondi, mumatuluka thukuta kwambiri? Kapena kuti thambo likuwoneka labuluu? Dopamine, munkhani iyi yodzutsidwa, ili ndi gawo lina. Chifukwa cha kutulutsidwa kwa dopamine, malingaliro ndi malingaliro amakhudzidwanso, zomwe zimatsogolera ku chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo. Pakalipano, testosterone imawonjezera chilakolako chogonana, komanso imawonjezera khalidwe laukali ndipo ikhoza kuchititsa munthu kuthamangitsa aliyense amene akuyambitsa kuyankha kwakukulu kumeneku.
Pambuyo pa sitepe iyi, ma neurotransmitters norepinephrine ndi PEA (phenylethylamine) amakopa chidwi. Anthu amayamba kuganizira za munthu amene amamukonda ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi chisangalalo. Norepinephrine ndi stimulant, kotero imapangitsanso anthu kukhala tcheru, sangathe kugona, ndipo amawalola kuzindikira ndi kukumbukira ngakhale zing'onozing'ono za okondedwa awo. PEA imayambitsa chizungulire ndipo imatha kuchititsa kuti munthu asafune kudya. Ngati ubalewu sukhalitsa, milingo ya PEA imatsika ndipo mbali ina imayambitsa kukhumudwa komwe kungakhalepo.
Chiwopsezo cha mayankho chimayamba kupangika, ndipo dongosolo la mphotho la ubongo limayamba. Dongosolo la mphotholi limakhudzidwa ndi dongosolo lapakati lamanjenje komanso zomwe zili m'magazi, monga kuchuluka kwa ma neurotransmitters osiyanasiyana. Dongosolo la mphotho limatumiza mauthenga amankhwala, kudzera m'ma neurotransmitters, kumadera osiyanasiyana a thupi, kuphatikiza m'mimba, khungu, maliseche, ndi ziwalo zina, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti atumize mauthenga ku ubongo. Kunena mwachidule, ngati kukondoweza kwa maliseche kumamveka bwino, mwachitsanzo, ndiye kuti dongosolo la mphotho limalandira chidziwitsocho ndikukulimbikitsani kufunafuna zosangalatsa zambiri. Chochititsa chidwi, kuyembekezera kokha kungayambitse kuyankha kwachilengedwe ndikulimbikitsa dongosolo la mphotho.
Pazigawo zoyamba za chikondi kapena chilakolako, dongosolo la mphotholi limalimbikitsidwa ndi njira zosavuta; Kukhudza wokonda, kuwona chithunzi chawo, kapena kungoganiza za munthuyo kumatha kukulitsa chidwi ndikuyika chidwi. Helen Fisher ndi anzawo (2005) adapeza kuti ubongo wa omwe amafotokoza kuti amakondana kwambiri amawunikidwa ndi MRI yogwira ntchito, dongosolo la mphotho limayamba.
Njira ya ubale kuyambira pano imakhala yovuta kwambiri. Ena angawope kukana kukanidwa, kumene kumaposa chisangalalo cha kugwa m’chikondi. Ena angawope kudzipereka paubwenzi, kapena kukhala osowa kwambiri ndi kumamatira ndikuthamangitsa wokondedwa wawo chifukwa chake. Ena akhoza kudumphira, akudalira chiyembekezo chawo chakuti ubwenziwo udzatha. Zitsanzozi amakhulupirira kuti zimayambira kumayambiriro kwa chitukuko ndikuwonetsa ubale pakati pa makolo ndi ana. Ubale woyambirira umenewu, ngakhale kuti si wachikondi, umatiphunzitsa mmene maubwenzi amagwirira ntchito, zimene tingayembekezere kwa ena, ndiponso ngati maubale amtundu uliwonse ali oyenerera. (Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zowunika kalembedwe kanu - ngati mukufuna kudziwa, pali mafunso ambiri omwe amapezeka pa intaneti.)
Ngakhale kukhala wosakwatiwa kuli ndi ubwino wambiri, palibe kutsutsa kuti kugwa m'chikondi ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri ndipo ambiri aife timasangalala nayo. Nthawi yotsatira pamene wina mumakumana naye akuyamba kunena kuti kununkhira kwa kunja kumatsitsimula kwambiri kuposa nthawi zonse, kapena mukuwona kuti akumwetulira pamene mukuyang'ana chithunzi cha munthu amene ali naye pachibwenzi, yamikirani chiwonetserochi ndikudziwa kuti ndikhoza kugwa. chikondi.
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